10 tips on how not to get an internship in advertising

1. Be boring. Send something that’s unoriginal to every CD you can think of. That way, your application will get lost in the clutter.

2. Make as few revisions as possible. It’s not your fault if the CD doesn’t understand your creative vision. Besides, all of the confusion adds to the general mystique of your work.

3. This one is a no brainer. Fill your book with nothing but sexual innuendo.

4. If you’re a writer, remember to always exclude headlines. Focus all of your time on visual executions.

5. Make sure that your portfolio is chock full of assignments from your advertising program. It’s not like anyone else is using the same assignment in his or her book.

6. On how to behave during your interview. Be as obnoxious, loud, arrogant and sexist as possible. It’s what every CD looks for in an intern.

7. Do as little research on the agency that’s about to interview you as possible. Because you have better things to do with your time, things like ordering a pizza.

8. Tardiness is key. When showing up for an interview, arrive 10 -15 minutes late. And if possible, make sure that you reek of alcohol. That way the CD will know that you’re serious about the position.

9. We can’t stress this one enough. Plagiarize, plagiarize and plagiarize!

10. When asked, “what’s your favourite ad?” respond with this: “Ummmm that one with the car…you know the one.”